A TRIBUTE TO THE MEMORY OF YOU
SONGS
TO LISTEN TO
LET'S
PLAY HOUSE
(CHARLEY
& BIFF)
Charley:
Let's
play house like mom and dad, together.
You
can be the queen, I'll be the king.
You
can do the dusting and the dishes.
I
will do the macho, manly thing.
Let's
play house like mom and dad together.
Oh
the games that people play with me.
If
you take this serious, then brother, you're misterious,
the
only game is who you want to be.
Biff:
Let's
play house like mom and dad, together.
Watching
how my parents played the game.
Mother
played the role of helpless victim.
Dad
played rescuer and claimed the fame.
But,
when I look close beneath the surface,
and
see the game they really played for keeps.
Father
was the helpless one,
and
mom's the one who got things done . .
A
secret that no-body dares to speak.
Biff:
(spoken
in rhythm, mimicing mother)
I
cook, I clean, I shop, I buy, I watch for all the sales.
And
finally when my soap is on, there's time to do my nails.
I
lie here in my negligee' with hair like Mrs. Brady.
I
don't think I'll get up today. (snaps fingers)
I'm
Sadie, married lady.
I
head off to the P.T.A., I made a fabulous buffet.
I
feed myself, I feed myself some more.
I
know what you're about to say - I wouldn't stuff my face all day,
if
life were not a monumental bore!
Charley:
(spoken
in rhythm, as father)
I
golf, I fish, play basketball, go drinkin' with the guys.
I
ask myself if this is all that married life supplies.
I
check my shirt, 'cause I know how my nosy wife will holler.
I'm
having an affair, and now there's lipstick on my collar.
I
need a drink, I'm seeing red,
there's
something that my father said,
(sings)
"that whiskey will put hair upon your chest."
It's
not so hard to be so tough, 'cause no one knows it's all a bluff.
They'll
think you're just a cut above the rest!
Biff:
that's
all fine and dandy, charley, but I don't exactly fill out my mother's role,
if
you know what I mean.
Charley:
that's
okay, dear. You fill out quite nicely in other areas,
(looks
at Biff's groin) if you know what I mean.
Charley:
(Spoken
in rhythm)
You
wash my clothes, you sort my socks, I never stop to thank you.
If
you don't act the way I want, you know I'm going to spank you.
Biff:
(Spoken
in rhythm)
I
dress the kids and wash the dog and wax the kitchen floor.
And
when I get abuse from you, it leaves me wanting more.
Charley:
(singing)
In
pigtails you'd look just like Judy Garland.
(Mimics
the "Wicked Witch of the West)
So
get your ruby slippers and your dog.
You'll
find that doing drag is so enticing.
It's
easier than rolling off a log..
Biff:
I
must confess, I kinda' like the pigtails.
(Charley:
"I knew you would)
But
if you think that I'm wearing those, you're wrong!
(Holds
up gawdy short heels)
Just
think of what my dad would say,
now
really, I must have my way,
I
want my heels at least three inches long!
(Pulls
3" plus heels from under bed.)
(Biff
puts on heels, an apron and whatever "drag" seems appropriate while Charley
sings)
Charley:
Oh,
you're wrong, your father wasn't helpless.
You
just never saw the role he played.
Strong
and virile, macho man your father . .
Shed
a tear, oh no, he's not dismayed.
Women
are the weaker of the sexes . .
(Mimics
Carrol Channing)
And
crying is o.K. For them to do.
You
can do the dishes, I will carry out your wishes
I'm
the daddy and I'll be on top of you.
Biff:
Oh
yeah?
(Presses
his chest against Charleys as they stand together)
Charley:
Yeah!
(Thrusts
his hips into Biff's)
Biff:
(Flits
around the house with duster, etc. mimics "Harriet Housefrau")
Let's
play house like mom and dad together.
This
is who I really want to be.
Doing
dusting, dishes and the laundry,
is
the role I had in mind for me.
Bow
before me, I'm the lord and master . .
(Pushes
Charley backward on bed)
Even
tho' I sometimes wear a frock.
(Climbs
on top of Charley, straddeling him)
I
control the power here . .
A
dominatrix when you're near.
You'll
have to be the bottom,
I'm
the top.
THIS ABOVE ALL ELSE
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
THOU CAN'ST NOT THEN BE FALSE
TO
NO MAN.
Denny
Hamann
Right
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